"Ant's Theory of Rights To Relationships" (work-in-progress)

*Don't remind me. I know I have never had a girlfriend for the past 17 years, so I can't necessarily judge, more to not have a right to judge, how relationships work, but dammit, I've noticed alot during those years, and I've managed to put together a somewhat disorganized set of beliefs and theories that may/may not suite those inclined to understand or comprehend what works or cannot work.

This is an open blog entry. This means that if one has an idea to add, or a revision to a certain theory, or to just comment how crappy this will end up, I will take it into consideration and change if need be. No boundaries; anyone of any gender can suggest. Think of it like the Bible. It's a bunch of ideas, and it'll be organized eventually so that categories and theories will be set accordingly (I know some pious group is gonna beat me up for that...). S,o here we go...

ANT'S THEORY OF RIGHTS TO RELATIONSHIPS (work-in-progress)

(#)- open for discussion

GOOD

1) If he/she can deal with you hanging out with an opposite sex, and he/she doesn't make it seem awkward or knows nothing is going on with you and that opposite sex... then BY GOD, stick with that person! Those kinda women/men are rare as hell!

2) Patience. If the couple can both have patience with each other.

3) (Applies to #1) If he/she doesn't get sensitive about the smallest detail, like you talking or just walking with an opposite sex. 

BAD 

1) (#) Holding hands= bushwa. If the most you can do is hold hands, what's the point to begin with?

2) There are mainly two types of 'relationships' men look into:

- An actual "I love you" where he ACTUALLY loves you

- A relationship where it honestly feels like it won't last long

"Top 10: Reasons Why Ant Is Not Going To Prom"

Que David Letterman intro.

"Alright, so you know Anthony, right? Ant, is, is his so-called name?"

Que Paul Shaffer.

"Yeah, yeah- I know him-"
"Well, he goes to this school, right, it's called Lakeside. Well, they're having their prom, and HE'S not going."
"NO."
"No, he's not going. He's not, he doesn't WANT to go to prom-"
"That's, that's terrible, that's horrible-"
"I know-"
"All those poor women, gonna all... dance, alone and yeah"
"Yeah, some girls are actually asking him. ACTUALLY asked him.[audience laughter]. Yeah, well, we asked for a response from him, and we got a reply, and he's, he's given us his OWN Top 10 as to why he's not going. He's fooling, that kid, he's-"
"Sonofa-"
"He's fooling... with our own show. Well here it is, we got some material, so here we go, Top 10 Reasons Why Ant Is Not Going To Prom, here we go, number ten..."

10)I don't know what day it's at.

9) He's got better things to do, like playing Nazi Zombies with some losers and drinking Yoo-hoo, which he's never tried.

8) "He's got homework and college priorities to get out of the way. Haha. Take that, you jerks."

"Uh-huh... yeah. [audience laughter] You're gonna end up here if you don't do that [audience laughter].

7) He's worn his suit about a million times, and doesn't want to get a new suit, or a tux. That shit looks like hell.

6) He's gonna try skinny dipping in the lake where the prom dudes are gonna get their pictures taken.

5)He's got drama.

"He's got DRAMA, people! Drama!"

4)He's saving his money for "God of War III" and a Rolling Stones shirt.

3)"It's not what Ant would do."

2) He's too busy ranting against Facebook.

"Yeah... I'm used to that. And the number one reason he's not going to prom:"

1) Hey, it's Ant. Who gives a rat's ass?

-AG