"Top 10: Reasons Why Ant Is Not Going To Prom"

Que David Letterman intro.

"Alright, so you know Anthony, right? Ant, is, is his so-called name?"

Que Paul Shaffer.

"Yeah, yeah- I know him-"
"Well, he goes to this school, right, it's called Lakeside. Well, they're having their prom, and HE'S not going."
"NO."
"No, he's not going. He's not, he doesn't WANT to go to prom-"
"That's, that's terrible, that's horrible-"
"I know-"
"All those poor women, gonna all... dance, alone and yeah"
"Yeah, some girls are actually asking him. ACTUALLY asked him.[audience laughter]. Yeah, well, we asked for a response from him, and we got a reply, and he's, he's given us his OWN Top 10 as to why he's not going. He's fooling, that kid, he's-"
"Sonofa-"
"He's fooling... with our own show. Well here it is, we got some material, so here we go, Top 10 Reasons Why Ant Is Not Going To Prom, here we go, number ten..."

10)I don't know what day it's at.

9) He's got better things to do, like playing Nazi Zombies with some losers and drinking Yoo-hoo, which he's never tried.

8) "He's got homework and college priorities to get out of the way. Haha. Take that, you jerks."

"Uh-huh... yeah. [audience laughter] You're gonna end up here if you don't do that [audience laughter].

7) He's worn his suit about a million times, and doesn't want to get a new suit, or a tux. That shit looks like hell.

6) He's gonna try skinny dipping in the lake where the prom dudes are gonna get their pictures taken.

5)He's got drama.

"He's got DRAMA, people! Drama!"

4)He's saving his money for "God of War III" and a Rolling Stones shirt.

3)"It's not what Ant would do."

2) He's too busy ranting against Facebook.

"Yeah... I'm used to that. And the number one reason he's not going to prom:"

1) Hey, it's Ant. Who gives a rat's ass?

-AG