On being single.

Continued from ‘On relationships’

So as I said on my last blog entry, I’m not usually in a rush to be in a relationship. Beginning one, dealing with one, ending one, getting over one, but also… I just freaking enjoy being a single guy. I mean, there are as many disadvantages as there are advantages in not being in a relationship, but… let me just write.

Let me just write. (I like that.)

I’ve been single for my entire life. Now I think because of that, I have been able to express myself more vividly and openly than I would if I wasn’t. I feel so free, relaxed, and feel as if I can be who I want to be without worrying about relationships. Circumstances, I’d probably still be able to if I was in one, but I really doubt that. I enjoy being single mainly for the freedom and interactions.

I love women. Pretty women. Women with personality, women with adorable faces, women with a grasp on intellect, women with bodies that make your pants drop … you get the point. But that’s the thing. Women. Not woman. Women. There are plenty of those kinds out there, and it’s the thing with me being with one of those for a certain time. A certain time until I seem to either get irritated or bored, and later have the itch to meet someone new. Someone with the figures I mentioned above. (I’ll expand on that.) And again, there are those I simply can never get tired of, get angry about, and simply not worry or be afraid of being in a relationship with. But that’s just rare, and that’s just me.

And then there’s me living. Here’s the jingle: I can handle billions of people judging how I dress, strut, rebel, or do random things. I can handle people judging me. I cannot, CANNOT handle one person judging me, and remind myself that that person is really a part of my life. Women will find their ways to control your life. I can’t say for myself, clearly, but it will happen. Maybe not all, but again that’ll be that rare breed of women.

Not just all this, but I simply enjoy playing. Playing with the curiosity of women liking me. And yes, it has happened, it happens. It always will. It will for me, for you, him, and her. And if you play that game, and you yourself are in a relationship, it’ll make you sick. Hanging out with women, being with women, hugging women, different women talking to you, having yourself be someone to look up to… all that jazz, and not worry about a girlfriend questioning it, complaining about it... just only having the other guy questioning, which is always fun.

Now again, there are those nights where I feel pretty alone as I watch the Late Late Show, or drink a pop of Cola as I lay back on the coach, or even when I do homework with music blaring out of my laptop. It can be saddening for me on many occurrences, I’d really feel like a lowdown loser for not being in a relationship, I admit. It’s never fun, especially when you’re standing with your friends and their boyfriend/girlfriend and those two are chatting, and you just stand there like a dumbass asking yourself “What am I doing here?” There are those times, sulking over it. But when I feel that alone, I can always turn to some gals I can never feel alone with, and all that I mentioned above comes to effect.

In the end, though, I somehow overlook it myself over how incredible and content my life is. I feel this major sense of freedom and liberty when I am me, and me being single. I don’t think I’m gonna need a woman in my life in awhile. Maybe not yet, but not now, not when I got the world going my way. I live the way I want. And no woman is going to change that.

-AG